Happiness

“Last year I moved into my new house.  My album went to number 1, and still I was miserable.      It doesn’t even help to have lots of money.  I’d buy houses and get nothing from it. I bought cars, and got nothing from it.  I’ve gone out and spent £5,000 in Selfridges, and – nothing. All those things that I thought would bring me happiness, don’t”. 

So concludes Will Young, first winner of the X factor, in an interview in today’s Sunday Times (October 6th).

This raises again two questions: what exactly is our definition of happiness, and how do we obtain it when we’ve decided what it is?

This very question underpins all discussions in utilitarianism and indeed, most of our ethical studies.  So what are the candidates for a definition?

1. Happiness equals pleasure and absence of pain.  This is Bentham’s view.
2. Happiness includes pleasure and absence of pain, but also goals, expectations, and a sense of purpose. This was Mill’s view. In Utilitarianism he writes: if by happiness is meant "a continuity of highly pleasurable excitement, it is evident enough that this is impossible”. Happiness, rather,  is "moments of rapture, in an existence made up of few and transitory pains, many and various pleasures, with a decided predominance of the active over the passive, and having as the foundation of the whole not to expect more from life than it is capable of bestowing".  Click here for a summary of his argument just uploaded on this site.
3. The Greek word eudaimonia.  This is translated flourishing or well-being, and includes the idea that I need to work out what it takes to become the best version of myself that is conceivable.  To do this I need to look hard at my own gifts, personality, weaknesses, strengths, and then strive to attain practical wisdom or phronesis in my choices, be they choices of career, marriage partner, or moral choices when confronted by difficult situations.

I prefer the third definition because it implies a degree of self-knowledge and addressing of one’s own demons, the things that hold us back or of which we are ashamed.

Will Young also relates his struggles and sense of shame about being gay. He traces this to his time at prep school when “emotions were frowned upon and being gay meant no-one would ever love you”.  The shame “ripples through him, leaving him with depression, which he has tied to mask with various addictions” (Style magazine, 6.10.12 page 43).  He includes the honest confession that he was addicted to pornography.  The definition of addiction is something that takes us captive and robs us of our free will, ultimately destroying our sense of values and self-worth.

If, like me, you prefer the third definition of happiness as human flourishing, then what does this entail for us?

1. We need to love ourselves before we can love others.  In a sense this lies behind the Bible injunction to “love your neighbour as if they were yourself” Leviticus 19:18.  To love yourself is the great goal of human flourishing.
2. To love ourselves we need to know ourselves.  Self-understanding is difficult to achieve when our behaviour may cause us a sense of shame, and lead to the creation of a secret world which no-one else knows about.  When this secret world comes into the light, it can lead to breakdown or even worse, suicide. Much better to have the moral courage to face our true selves today, even if we need the help of a counsellor to do it.
3. Love of another is the greatest human source of happiness.  If we have children, we will know what this means.  But also the discovery of a true lover, a soul-mate who knows everything about us and accepts us as we are, who shares with us the complexity of life in the twenty-first century, this must be much more important than money.

If you’re reading this it’s likely you are studying ethics.  This is a good place to start. But at the same time, take some time to think about yourself.  Too many of us wake up at my age – and ask the question – has my life really been fulfilled?

You can have a truly fulfilling life, but only if you’re clear who you are, and what you are seeking.

The photo is of Lake Windermere, where I grew up. When I think of a place that makes me happy, I think of fishing at dawn on Lake Windermere.